Holiday Self Care
So, I am the worst and the best person to write an article about Self Care because I am terrible at it – like the worst – like really bad. I put self-care items on my calendar, and then cancel them, despite the wisdom of prioritizing them. I run a million miles an hour until my body literally tells me to stop. I am that person.
If you are like me, your life is busy, and if you are lucky, like I am lucky, life is busy with things that you love, enjoy, and that fill you up: family, friends, work, yoga. Now add on top of that the joy, excitement, and routine destroying crazy that is the Holidays. You get the drift.
Let me just say, “I love the holidays.” For. Real. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, hands down. To me, Thanksgiving is all the best stuff from the gift-giving holidays, but with less mess and wrapping paper. But, I also have small children, so the gift-giving and Santa portion of the holiday season holds an undeniable thrill for my household as well. And…the little white lights….if it were up to me there would be little white lights all over everything year round.
But, it is exactly this inherent overpouring of holiday positivity that can sneak up on me and bite me in the butt when it comes to overwhelm. Ironic, eh? It is really just an extension of the rest of life, but hopped up and magnified by sugar and Holiday Parties.
How can a person be overwhelmed and stressed when all of the things in their life are GOOD things? Well, let me tell you…..it can happen. It does happen. Hell, I would go so far as to make the bold prediction that it could very well happen TO YOU (at some point).
So here is some little “preemptive strike” stuff that you can try, and when done consistently, it really does help make for happier, healthier, and more resilient busy people. I am focusing this article on little things – the tiny things. The big stuff is amazing too, and we definitely should ALL make time in our schedules for The First EVER Funky Buddha Rest Fest on Saturday, December 10th (See how I slipped that little plug in there?), but it is the little stuff that saves my sanity every day. None of this stuff is magic. It is simple. Sometimes we all just need a little reminder that we are not alone, and everyone is running around with their hair on fire a lot of the time.
- Breathe. If you are like me, “a regular daily meditation practice,” is on my TODO list. Like the full on, sitting on the cushion 20-30 minutes a day kind of meditation practice. Every piece of science and logic point to this being a VERY VERY VERY good idea – like the best idea ever. But, for today, let’s just talk about breathing – on purpose – like you do in your yoga practice – EVERY morning when you first wake up – BEFORE you pick up you phone. This has really worked for me. Every morning, before I pick up my phone, I situate myself in my bed like a little mini-good-morning-savasana and I take at least 10 long slow breaths, often more, but ALWAYS 10, even if I am running behind. It takes less than 2 minutes.
FYI. If a regular more formal meditation practice is also on your TODO list, this strategy of habit making has been proven to work by many Funky Buddhas. 5-10 minutes of meditation every morning – first thing – BEFORE you pick up your phone. It is the before you pick up your phone thing that really makes this work. All the sciencey stuff about cues, rewards, habit loops….blah blah blah. It is all real stuff. It totally works.
2. Say No. Again, so simple….and yet….. There have been entire books written about this, workshops that you can attend, consultants and life coaches that make a living focusing on this specific topic.
The flip side of this, for me, is to “Say Yes, but when it is strategically feasible.” Figuring out how to do this well is important for everyone. In my life, this plays itself out most prominently at my children’s schools. Like every working parent – really, like every parent – in the world, we want to be great at ALL THE THINGS. Great professionals. Great parents. Great friends. Great community members. ALL. THE. THINGS. We want to participate at our children’s schools and attend all of the events. We all know.
I want to be the parent that is present at her children’s school. However, I had to have a stern talking-to-with-myself earlier this year about how to do this in the most strategically feasible sanity-preserving way. Sometimes, I am not going to be able to make a home cooked creation that represents our family’s culture and ethnicity for a mid-week potluck. Because if I am going to do it, I want to do it well, and some weeks that is a possibility and some weeks it is just NOT. So instead, I donated money that was used to buy extension cords to power the 6 bazillion crock pots. And Boom! Community participation. Someone has to buy the extension cords. This time it was me, and that is okay.
In Holiday-land this translates to, “be strategic about where you expend your festive energy.” What events/parties/school activities are the most important to you and your family? What things do you WANT to go to? What things are feasible for you to attend? Is there a way for you to consolidate your Holiday Cheer – like see a bunch of people that you want to see at ONE time? How can you make your housewarming contributions easier (I buy a case of my favorite mid-level-yummy-enough-be-a-treat-but-not-so-yummy-that-it-breaks-the-bank wine to have on hand for holiday shindigs)? Catch my drift? At least worth a some thought before you socialize yourself to burnout.
3. Thank Yous. This one really really works for me. Call it gratitude training, call it good old fashioned manners, call it whatever you want. I am a believer in the Thank You. There are so many reasons to believe in the Thank You. Gratitude. Kindness. Grace. An exercise in really seeing the people around you every day.
I believe in the Thank You every day, but I especially believe in the Thank You when I am stressed, busy, at my wits end…..and especially when I don’t feel gracious. You know the feeling. I am not talking about being flippantly positive when things and or people are crappy. I am talking about when it is YOU. You are stressed. You are agitated. You are sad or grumpy. Making a conscious effort to spread the Thank Yous on thick really does help – not always in the moment, but in the net positivity you experience for the day. And so often what happens, is that someone’s response from your Thank You can have the power to snap you out of your funk and get you back where you want to be mentally and emotionally.
There you have it, just a couple little coping mechanisms that might help you in your day-to-day, and if nothing else, just the acknowledgement of the crazy. Sometimes that is all we need, just a little camaraderie as we bustle about, spread holiday cheer, get shit done, and do the very best we can.
XOXO,
Anna
